Friday, May 16, 2008

Microsoft + Yahoo = Regency romance

As you probably know, unless you have just crawled out from under a rock, I am basically the world's biggest fan of Regency romance, or maybe 8th or 9th or 11th.

I don't know what this person was smoking, but they wrote a funny parody of a Regency romance using Microsoft and Yahoo and the protagonists. Here is an excerpt:

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a software firm in possession of a large fortune must be in want of an acquisition…

There is something tremendously satisfying about watching the search engine firms flirt, fall out, argue and compete. It is so very human, for all that they are enormous and powerful corporations. The recent Microsoft attempts at acquiring Yahoo! made me think of a regency romance, far trashier than Jane Austen [K's note: trashy!? Oh no you didn't...]:

Miss Yahoo! shrank back against the piano, pale but determined. “Sir,” she gasped, “your offer insults me. You think my love can be bought with trinkets!”

The Marquis de Microsoft stroked his moustache and raised a haughty eyebrow. “Madam, I have made you a respectable offer. I am a wealthy man with a large and reliable fortune. ‘Twould be madness to refuse me.” He stalked to the fireplace and stared deep into the flames, gritting his teeth. “Furthermore, my dear, I have told half of London that I shall marry you and marry you I shall!”

She glared at his figure, hunched powerfully over the fireplace, and strengthened her resolve. “I do not wish to marry… you.”

Just then, the door burst open and Sir Guy of Google charged into the room. “Unhand her, sir!” he demanded, slightly unnecessarily, for the two were standing some distance from one another, each disdainful in their mutual dislike. “Miss Yahoo!, don’t throw yourself away on the Marquis de Microsoft. Do not trust his solicitations! I have reason to believe his intentions are not honourable.”

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