Harlequin!

I'm not usually a reader of Harlequin, but even I was excited by the promotion being given by the company in honour of their 60th anniversary: 16 free ebooks! I don't have an ebook reader, but I can still read them on my computer thanks to the glory of pdf. They took literally 5 seconds to download each. I'm thrilled to boots. They had secret baby twins! And NASCAR!

Yes, you will be subjected to reviews here. Don't think you won't!

In the meantime, I'm still laughing over the list of top ten ebooks sold at Harlequin this week.

1. The M.D.'s Mistress (not bad, but a bit of a tonge twister)
2. The Prince's Waitress Wife (the tabloids will be all over you, honey)
3. The C.O.O. Must Marry (or die!!!) (What the freak is a C.O.O.?)
4. Mistress: Hired for the Billionaire's Pleasure (I frequently add that to my resume between Researcher: Hired for the Museum's Desires and Librarian: Hired for Checking Stuff In)
5. Mediterranean Boss, Convenient Mistress (there's that billionaire tycoon/secretary mistress plot. Again.)
6. The Boss's Bedroom Agenda (#1. Discuss sales figures. #2. Hot monkey sex.)
7. Desert Prince, Defiant Virgin (the plot of every shiek romance since Valentino. Don't worry, we know the virgin part will last until chapter five.)
Wait! I had to find out more:
"Beige-wearing, bespectacled Molly James is certainly not the kind of woman he usually beds. But Tair is outraged to be told that dowdy Molly is actually a seductress in disguise! She needs to be stopped! Taking her as a captive to the desert, he discovers this Miss Mouse is innocent—in every way. Now Tair wants her…as his bride!"
OMGWTFBBQ??? This rocks my world! I have to find a copy of this book!
8. Her Ruthless Italian Boss. (I've been to Italy. I've seen Italian men. The only thing that's ruthless is the tightness of their pants.)
9. Tempted into the Tycoon's Trap. (Oh no, Scooby! This looks like a trap!)
10. The Spanish Billionaire's Pregnant Wife. (Another waitress makes it with a rich boy and has his behbeh. Yes, I looked. That is the plot.)
The Professor's Convenient Sassy Librarian Wife. (I made that one up. That would be the title of the Harlequin starring me. I'm already writing the cover copy:
She stared at his books. Mountains and mountains of books. She ran her hand sensually up the book's spine. Took it off the shelf, caressed its cover. The smell, the feel of it overwhelmed her. She was struck by the dizzying realization that she was in lust with his pages.)

Alright, I'll desist. Taking cheap shots at Harlequin is too easy. I kid because secretly love.